Imagine having a serious illness and being too afraid to talk about it
Nataša Vrsaljko Alić
I love food, I’m a big foodie, and I often do overdo it. Over time, I realized that this exaggeration had little to do with my love for food, and more to do with deeper themes like my relationship with myself, love for myself and my body, my relationship with success, and more. And, I thought: When that relationship with food is so complicated for me, what it must be like for people who have an eating disorder.
Unfortunately, several people close to me have been battling anorexia and bulimia for years. Some of them immediately told me about it, very openly, and others hid it well, until the moment they gathered their courage and confessed. Eating disorders are more common than you think, and the sad thing is that people just don’t talk about it.
This is the point. If people don’t talk, they don’t ask for help, if they don’t ask for help, they don’t change anything; they continue the destructive behavior and, unfortunately, they end up alone, in some form of mental prison from which they cannot, do not want to, and do not know how to escape.
Eating disorders are mental disorders with one of the highest mortality rates. Imagine having such a disorder and being quiet about it, because if you say anything, you are often greeted with condemnation:
“Why do you talk about it as some kind of tragedy, when other people have bigger problems”
“If she were mine, she would eat“ or
“They have it easy in life – they think being ‘fat’ is their biggest problem. Just eat less!”
Statements like this reveal a general ignorance about the illness, as well as the speed and propensity to condemn the people around us. Great courage is required to talk publicly about one’s fight against anorexia, bulimia or other kind of eating disorder. People who speak are usually already recovered or in the process of treatment. Others are silent and left alone, in immense shame of themselves, and worse, in disapproval and hatred of themselves and their self-harming actions. They think of themselves as not worthy of help and believe the statements they hear, for example, that others have worse problems and bigger issues and that their problems, as well as themselves, are irrelevant.
The story of eating disorders is never about the food itself. Whoever believes it is, has a superficial understanding. Unfortunately, an eating disorder is a form of self-destruction whose causes are different from person to person and much deeper than it initially seems.
Once you really listen to a person with an eating disorder, you realize that this illness is not simple at all, that this person is struggling with something that no one should go through alone, that they need help, support, encouragement and recognition that they are an okay person.
They need help to become aware, accept and, manage themselves and their emotional states and to understand that with professional help there is a chance to resolve what is bothering them and get out of that cycle of torture in which they find themselves.
If they had this kind of support from the community around them, I wonder if the sick would still be silent or would they find it easier to admit to themselves and others that they need help and ask for it much sooner? The sooner that help is sought, the sooner recovery can begin. I hope that right now is the perfect time to get closer, to have conversations, and find the answer to this question.
About Nataša Vrsaljko Alić
I am a life and executive coach whose passion is helping people, associations and companies to push their boundaries, remove obstacles and achieve what is desired through group and personal coaching. I live and work in Pula, Croatia.
World Eating Disorders Action Day
World Eating Disorders Action Day is taking place across the world on June 2, 2020. For the 5th year running, this grassroots campaign brings together ALL OF YOU from more than 50 countries and over 250 organizations around the globe to increase awareness about EDs and evidence-based treatment. EDs are life threatening, brain-based disorders, with genetic linkages and metabolic factors. They are also possible to treat, especially when identified and treated EARLY.
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